You just made me feel so damn special
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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