These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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