Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
