I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
