you would pick up someone in the library
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
