what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
