I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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