You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
