I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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