Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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