A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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