i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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