SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
