If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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