I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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