i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
