evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
