I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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