Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
