laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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