Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
