Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
