Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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