her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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