We won't sleep together?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
