Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
