At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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