But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
