Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
