i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
there was a trapeze. enough said
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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