k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
