I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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