haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
