Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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