yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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