I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
wow bdsm is so cute
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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