I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
