why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
