i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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