Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
