didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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