Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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