Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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