do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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