i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
