I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
