So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
