I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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