The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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