come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
