is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They have beer where we have blood.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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