Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
